Why Coaches Shouldn't Dress Down Players in Public

So this hits a little close to home and is exceptionally discouraging.  Let me start with what happened then give the reasons for why this is a bad idea especially for a coach to do.  During one of the recent games the coach on E's team got really mad at a play and started yelling "he sucks, he sucks" while standing on the sidelines. Now I didn't see it, but Sophie saw it and she is always defensive about her kid so she assumed he was talking about her son.  So she files that display in her memory bank.  Well we win the game, E has 5 steals, and manages to sink 2 clutch free throws to put us up 4 with less than 2 minutes to play.  Not a great game but good enough to help the team win.  The next day he says he is done with basketball and is going to bowl next year.  Mind you he is a teenager, but this is coming after a game the week before where he said he finally enjoyed basketball again, and the team goes 2-0 in his 2 starts. So Sophie calls the coach out and he apparently cops to saying that about his own player in the middle of a game in front of his team, directly in front of our fans and across from the opposing team student section.  Now if Sophie saw it, you know there was more than her that saw it too.  In this day and age of social media a coach lambasting a players ability is going to be captured and shoved in that kids face.  I think it is totally ridiculous that a coach would say anything negative about a kid's playing ability during a game, let alone a kid on his team.  I can understand correcting a mistake or pointing out a play that could have been made (that's called coaching), but to throw your hands up in the air, and strut back and forth yelling "He Sucks, He Sucks!!" is beyond terrible, it isn't coaching because you aren't making anyone better by doing it.  What are those other kids on the bench thinking?  What are the parents thinking (glad it's not my kid... this time)? What are the other fans thinking? "wow if this guy thinks his own players suck, maybe we can win".  Then you have kids who aren't playing and just watching for the other team, but they know these players, they have grown up with each other they have competed against each other in other sports, and they know how to communicate with each other.  And if one of those kids could have got a video and posted to social media imagine the embarrassment that kid is going to go through at their own school amongst their peers.  Now allegedly that isn't what happened, but even having this as a possibility is unacceptable in my mind.  When you are the coach of a team it is your job to protect these kids from the outside.  You have to have the mentality that everyone in that locker room is not only on the same side, but there has to be a united front against the opponent, their fans and sometimes even your fans.  You have to be willing to defend the kids and any mistakes they make especially if you leave them in the game.  What sense does it make playing a kid that you think "sucks" and then if they make a mistake leave them in?  Doesn't that just make you look stupid?  Well someone once said that stupid is as stupid does and I have about had my fill of stupid.

I think the most frustrating part, at least as a parent, is that I have invested so much time in helping him get better and building his confidence.  I compare it to building a building one confidence brick at a time and every good game, good practice, learning-something-new, backyard game we play is a brick that goes into building up this structure of confidence that the kids has.  Then you have a coach that instead of continuing to build the confidence structure so that these kids can go out and compete with their full skill set, he comes in with the wrecking ball of criticism  that is capable of destroying multiple levels confidence in one fell swoop.  Shooting - No, you can't do that!! Pass it to the tall kids!! Driving to the basket - That's not your F'ing job!!!  I mean it takes so much just to get a kid to be able to play at a varsity level, and to have a kid feel like they shouldn't be playing because of their coach is a travesty.  Most kids don't even want to play sports these days because there is too many other things to do.  I remember one play at summer league where E got the ball and took off with it down the middle of the court and drew a foul.  I said "great job, see when you take something good happens".  His coach said something to the effect of that was a terrible play and he got bailed out.  I mean this is completely ridiculous right, how can a player get any better if he isn't allowed to do anything?  At least bowling won't be like this.