American Idol Final 3 - 2007

Turns out I'm not really interested in AI enough to do a blog like Chan's. Also I wish they would quit calling Melinda Doolittle Tina Tuner, it is not Tina Turner it is Nell Carter. I'm telling you Nell Carter.

And what is the deal with the sweater vests. I mean what's next pegging your pants will come back? Well now hold on, would that really be that bad. Sofie says yes. She says she will help put together a list of fashion trends that should never come back.

Ohhh, Elliot Yamin is on. Wait a second that doesn't look anything like Elliot. Where's the funky teeth, and what is up with that hair? Looks like it is ripe for a little pony-hawk action. And is he wearing a sweater vest? Elliot, Elliot, Elliot. Coincidentally I hear that is the name of his album - "Elliot Yamin". Creative. I wonder how long it took to come up with that name. Sadly probably a while.

The Yau-man takes one on Network TV - right up the ying yang

Sunday 5/13/2007, a date that will live in... oh wait it wasn't quite that bad. It was the first time on network TV that a black man violated a Chinese man. If you know not of that which I speak I am referring to the Survivor season finale. Yau-man had made one of the greatest single moves in the game of survivor when he offered the car reward to "Dreamz" in exchange for immunity at the final four if "Dreamz" won the immunity challenge. It was a great move for several reasons. One - Yau already had one hidden immunity idol, which he played at the very next tribal council, and it paid off since the tribe would have voted him out 4 to 2. Second - It kind of sets the stage for the vote at 5, because Yau has declared his allegiance to "Dreamz", so he is not voting for "Dreamz" if Yau wins immunity, which he did. So Yau has the final four he wants and a 50% chance at immunity, plus if "Dreamz" lives up to his end of the deal he becomes the one voted off at the final four. Brilliant. Except for the fact that "Dreamz" is the greediest, most deceptive, dishonest person to ever play the game and after he won immunity he didn't give to Yau, but instead voted Yau out. So in the final 3 it was "Dreamz", Earl, and Casandra. "Dreamz" had already screwed over 3 people in the jury, plus the newest jury member Yau, plus Stacy hated him, and I don't think Boo, Lisi or Rocky liked him. That leaves Michelle who never had the extreme displeasure of being on a tribe with him. Needless to say "Dreamz" got Zero votes in the finals. Which he should have realized he had absolutely no chance to win and the only purpose his greed served was to make himself look extremely bad and at the same time screw one of the best players ever, out of 1 million dollars. The other thing that makes me mad is that the whole time he was saying how he "couldn't wait to win immunity and give it to Yau," because he "wanted his son to see him keep his word and do the right thing". Except he didn't. So now his offspring will never have to live up to their word? What a dumb ass. I hope "Dreamz" gets how he gave in the "real world" because I don't buy his "it's just a game excuse". For one this is not just a game. It takes six weeks of your life, you're completely exiled from the rest of the civilized world, you have no communication with your family, and no food. Yeah, eventually it will be over, but it isn't like playing monopoly or cards against some friends at your house one evening. This is a significant part of someone's life and you should respect that going in. If someone is a better player than you and you give them your word for a brand new truck, then you should at least keep your word. I would never trust "Dreamz" in any capacity in the real world given what he did during the "game". If he can justify not respecting Yau's sacrifice and ability in the "game" imagine what "Dreamz" could do in real life. More like a nightmare if you ask me. Probably if you ask Yau too.

Barnyard Review

This isn't a real review, I was just mad that they made the boy bovines have udders! I mean I had to do a little research on the web just to make sure that it wasn't possible, but I found it in like 15 minutes. (I wasted about 10 minutes on Wikipedia). No male bovines do not have udders, they have other equipment. Sure I saw the previews, but I knew the premise was the cows were funny, so I thought the boy cow was just wearing it as a joke. Except the udder NEVER came off, and his dad had an udder. The whole time I was like 'why even draw the udder on the cow', just don't draw anything or do some research. I mean it only took me 15 minutes to figure out that little tid bit, if I were to spend millions on a major motion picture I think I would at least know what looks right. But you know what...maybe they did. Maybe, just maybe they did some research and found out that udders = funny and funny *1.05 = Profit. Of course, mo' udder mo' money. That is exactly what my web site is lacking - UDDERS. Just imagine the possibilities I plop a few more udders up there and people start clicking the ads like crazy. Alright well, I'll get to work on the udder's you go ahead and click the old ads. Thanks.

Self-Un-Aggrandizement

It turns out I will not be able to do the fill in stuff for Prof Chan. Sorry I will be taking in some local theater that evening with Sofie and Peach. Yes, local theatre. Something with large fluffy creatures from you know, Sesame Street.

What she's little she likes that stuff, maybe I'll do my own final 3 analysis though since I promised to sub.

A List of People Tony Stewart Owes!!

1. Kurt Busch
2. Jimmie J.
3. Juan Pablo Montoya *Note-On the lists of many drivers (i.e. Scott Pruitt, Bobby Labonte, pretty much at least one new driver every race).
4. David Gilliland
5. Bill France - Deceased June 4, 2007, probably don't need to pay him back now.
6. Sofie - Trust me.
7. Kyle Busch - for wrecking Jr. when Tony spun out at Texas, I think, and then people got mad at Tony. Tony didn't wreck Jr., they like each other. But NOT LIKE THAT SOFIE.
8. Ryan Newman - repaid during Darlington Busch race 5/11/07
9. Dave Blaney, Ricky Rudd, and whoever it was that tried to pull of that 3 wide pass with less than 20 laps to go at Richmond, because Tony got caught up in their junk.
10. Sterlin Marlin - for causing above incident.
11. Maybe not Ricky Rudd, but definitely Blaney, he should have gotten 4 tires instead of 2.
12.Denny Hamlin - I am sort of reluctant to put this up since they are teammates, but he needs to learn to get out of the way.
That should do for now, I will update as needed or as folks are re-paid!!

Abortion

A woman had just been told that she had terminal cancer, so she decided to pray. She asked God to send a cure for her cancer. God replied he did, but it was aborted.

Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, and other have greatness thrust upon them.

How would you like some greatness thrust up on you?

Self-Aggrandizement

Check it out, I have decided that since prof Chan is going to be off celebratin' his honeymoon (I assume with his wife) next week, I will fill in here on my blog. So check back next Wednesday or so (sorry I got a job) and I will grade the idols.

Oh happy day.

An awesome draft and some weak Drafting

Greetings. (voice over loud speaker, David Gilliland please turn your license into the nearest NASCAR official, then exit the track and never come back. Thanks.) Just can't get enough of those slightly less talented drivers who finally get a chance to run near the front with the talented drivers at the restrictor plate tracks and then run out of talent at the end of the race and wreck someone who had a legit shot to win it. And for those Jimmy fans remember what happened last year when Jr. and Jimmy got wrecked by Brian Vickers at ... where was that track... oh yeah Talladega. Look I know Smoke has taken a beating over the wrestling comment, but common if Dale Earnhardt was still around he would be saying the same stuff and people would be eating it up. Tony Stewart is not unstraight either Sofie, so quit saying that him Jr. are "buddies". Anyway on to some good news.

How 'bout them Brownies. Two picks in the first round Top 5 quality and oh yeah I can't wait 'til Oct. 14, when we play the Dolphins. They apparently felt they could pass on Quinn at 9 and take Ginn. Hey hope that works out for ya. They also got the CB they wanted even though he has some off field issues, but they should get at least one good year out of him before he "Pacman's" it his second year. So this is going to be the year, or else. Probably 9-7, depending on the development of Quinn if he plays or not, but coming out of Charlie Weiss' system to Romeo's should be about as easy a transition as any ever could be. I look for them to make the playoffs, but lose in the first round. Sorry. Surprise of the season - they will beat Baltimore Twice!!! Next year will probably hurt a little, because of the draft pick we gave up this year, but there is a ton of time to make up for that. I really like what they did going after linemen this off season, and drafting Joe Thomas will keep that guard they got from Cincinnati at the guard position. Now all that is left is to win some games. Go Browns!

Oh man, does that Doolittle on American Idol sound like Nell Carter. They keep comparing her to Tina Turner, but its Nell definitely Nell.