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Thursday, March 25, 2010

A New Poem (It's the Bomb, trust me)

Well in honor of Big Chief Red Metal's recent run-in with the law and his penchant for telling stories in the poetic style, I have constructed the following poem. Hopefully it will illustrate the hilarity (oh yes hil-ar-ity) of the whole bomb episode.

The time had come, oh yes it had
For all to leave, times had gotten bad

Well old Chief Red Metal stayed to help
"No problem Dale", he said with a yelp

He'd check the plant day after day
But one item eluded his vision's stray

When Consol had bought the place
Shock and Aw did fill their face

For in the Big Chief's office did they find
One big detail he had left behind

It was not a mess or ISO files on his desk
It was the fake bomb he made for that safety test

His pride and joy it was
But that darn Consol had called the fuzz

They came with lights and the sirens blared
They even shut down Route 2 to show they cared

Consol did not want their new plant blown apart
So they began their search for the owner of that car in the parking lot

All signs pointed back to the Chief
"It's a fake" he said but to no relief

They couldn't figure why he left it out
It's all Dean's fault he began to shout

It must have been that spider bite
That left him not thinking right

But he stayed right there he would not run
"I'll blow this place to kingdom come"

Oh wait, no it really was a fake
Being a prison bride he could not take

He got off for now, the police did not arrest
But I'm sure he'll land on the no-fly list

Ok, well this is just getting to be ridiculously long now, so I'll just revert back to the prose I'm more used to. Anyway I don't think he got arrested, but I suppose he is still at risk, and probably up for the no-fly list and what not. Oh man, I forgot I really wanted to come up with a rhyme for no-fly list . . . Well I changed the last line of the poem to reflect it now, but I'm too lazy to erase what I've already typed. Actually I'm not even sure that arrest and list rhyme, but that's the best I got. Hope you enjoyed it.

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